...and our latest news

9:55pm: college bumps and bruises
I tripped over myself in the PCC parking lot today. I ended up scratching my elbow up and scuffing my new clogs. I laughed at myself and then noticed a guy next to his truck that said "HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY!" all over it staring at me. I smiled and got up.

It was funny.

11:44pm: I'll take you down... one condiment at a time.
I wonder if anyone can really become anorexic. No one can't not eat right?

12:31am: In all honesty
After everything that has happened between us, in all honesty, I don't want a friendship with you. I'm not going to try to salvage something just because it'd be the greater good. Who would want to be friends with someone who has hurt you so badly over nothing? I know you wouldn't. I can't fix the fact that you hate me. That is your own personal problem. Being on good terms with eachother just makes me vulnerable to you. If you hated me so much what makes me think you won't again?

So you've been hurt. So I'm suppose to feel bad when you hurt me just because you were mad? You turn around and do to me what you were so upset about. Yet you do it 10 fold. You were horrible to me. The worst part was is that I didn't even know what you were actually mad at me about, you just were. If you didn't like beig hurt then why go and hurt someone else?

I never hated you. I would never hate you. Why would I? Even if you hate me as much as you said you do. I won't reciprocate those feelings. Just know that I don't hate you. I may not be okay with you, maybe I never will, but in all honesty know that I never hated you.

I can't forget the things you did, nor the pain they caused me. I'm betting you can't forget the pain I caused you. Although I wish you would have just talked to me first. If I ever do anything to you again and I'm oblivious as I am to it... just come to me and talk to me. ME, no one else, just ME.

10:55pm: What I learned senior year.
Basically a year of bests and worsts. A year of triumphs and failure. Losts and gains and tears equivalent to yin and yang.
I've made it through to say the least, but still making it non the less. Here is what I've learned:

I've lost friends, one of which was so dear to me. You'll lose friends in life. People grow apart or turn out to be what you least expected. I would do anything to change what happened so just to have that one friend back. Then I think about it... and maybe, just maybe, I did all I could.

I fell in love. I truely fell in love. I wanted to be with this person. I wanted to make him happy. I felt, for the first time in my life, that I was with the right person. Whatever happens, even if mixed words are said or you are truly hurt, don't ever hate that person you loved. You don't hate someone you love, you can't. Thats why its called love. I will never hate that person. Even if what happened tore me apart. I will not and cannot hate him.

People talk. It makes things interesting. It supplies you with entertainment. Gossip, lies, bashing, its all to create entertainment. People will talk about you. Its bad, its good, its just talk. Until someone says something that bothers them to your face, you don't do anything. I'll never fight someone who said something about me that I heard through the grape vine. Nor would I try to defend myself for it was just someone talking. Until I hear it said to my face, I'll do nothing. Do nothing. But once that line is crossed I will not hold back. I will say what is on my mind if you cross me. I will defend my name and my rep if it is said otherwise to me. Other than that, nothing.

Body and soul. I've been hurt to the point of suicide. I hate to admit it but I've been there. I've tried. I've failed. I've even tried again. Yet again, failure. I hated myself. I was unhappy. I hated hearing all the shit people said about me and waking up day after day knowing I'd have to deal with it again. It sucks. It hurts. Do some people not realize the things they say can impact a person? That their words can push a person so far as to not wanting to live? That death sounds a whole lot better then having to hear your hurtful words? People have limits as to how much they can take and I was face first into the ground with dirt up my nostrils. I was down. There are two things to learn here. Watch what you say. You don't know how much it could impact that one person. Also do whatever it takes to make you happy. Spending time with your friends constantly, being alone, crying, writing your thoughts down. WHATEVER it takes to not go as far as your life.

Last of all. Be yourself. I am who I am. And if someone has a problem with it, maybe that's why their not on my friends list, or in my car to go out to lunch. Whichever.

11:56am: Its Good To Be Back
Its been a long time since I've posted.
Don't worry about the posts under this one. I'm over Stephen. A little upset by how it all went asunder but relieved he's better off.

I'm starting college on Aug. 21 to start my journey as an English Major. I'm ready for it and glad to be out of HS.

8:11pm: I'm in depression mode
Stephen broke up with me.
I can't stop rationalizing the situation. I also can't help but cry like crazy over him.
I miss just holding his hand while walking the hallways.
I didn't get anything for lunch today because I was about to burst into tears while waiting in line. Instead I went and sat down at our table and cried. I don't like people seeing me so upset and I hate being a downer.

I hope everything works out.
I'm going to be selfish now and say "I hope everything works out the way I want it."

2:49pm: is it so bad to expect more from him?
As much a heart Stephen I just feel so stressed around him. We don't have good conversations, he doesn't ever really talk to me. Riding to Lakeland all you would hear is me rambling on because he wouldn't say anything to me. At Wade's condo, he smiles and laughs so much but around me it's silence. And I don't mean before we started moving apart, it's always been that way. He doesn't even smile in pictures with me. What the fuck is that about?!
Leaving school it's always "Ok I have to leave to go to work" *enter barely there kiss* and an "I love you" as he turns away. Where's the deep felt hug? My french kiss?
Sunday he was suppose to call me at 1:30 to take me out to lunch. He didn't call until 3 hours later, while I fucking waited all dressed nicely, starving, and a tear stained face. He tells me he's sorry and that he was working on his truck. Where did you not have the time to fucking call me?! I hate it when people don't call on time.
I wish he would be spontaneous and take me somewhere as a surprise. Or even a fucking smile and laugh would be a huge surprise. Talk to me at lunch even and don't pound your face into me when giving me a quick kiss while your still eating.

I want one day where everything with Stephen didn't make me so upset.... and the truth is, he'll never know how much he makes me cry.

12:18pm: I can no stop planning on when to take my boyfriend off my Interest list. Now it's good to stay. I can finally say I'm over Patrick and it makes me feel great. I saw him last night for the first time in a month. I was waiting for Christie to get off work because we were going to see the Rose's Exorcism. While I waited in the lobby I saw him walk in. I said Hi to him and he kinda gave me the "'oh hey' now please go away" suggestion. He went and got popcorn while I found a spot on an empty bench. I sat there for a few minutes while he was in line for popcorn. He got his munchies and waited with a friend and didn't even bother to come talk to me. That's bullshit if you ask me. You couldn't even walk up to me and ask how I've been or what I've been up too?

Ohh well not like it's gonna burst my 'I am pretty darn happy' bubble. I've got Stephen, no matter what Andrew says about dating. I haven't told my parents because of last dating experience... you tell them and I'm not allowed to go out or they want me home in 2 hours. I'm not gonna try and reason with them this time and get in fights over it so I'd just rather them not know, that way I can be out a little later with them not worried about me being with a guy.

So I'm going to homecoming and I must say 'People, I'm going to look damn sexy.' Besides I sort of need to go to homecoming to get recent pictures of Christie and me. We're sharing a full page together in the yearbook. It would be pretty dumb if we didn't since practically all our pictures are with each other. Yay for growing up together! We also decided on color so BAM our page will be the best ever.

6:31pm: Christie's Underwear tells her this

What Your Underwear Says About You

You tend to throw out your underwear after a few months. It gets used and abused! You're a closet exhibitionist who gets a thrill from being secretly naughty.

My underwear tells me this

What Your Underwear Says About You

You like to think of yourself as innocent, even though you're not! You're comfortable in your own skin - and don't care to impress anyone.

Sheesh Christie, you're naughty!

This is my brain pattern

Your Brain's Pattern

Your mind is a creative hotbed of artistic talent. You're always making pictures in your mind, especially when you're bored. You are easily inspired to think colorful, interesting thoughts. And although it may be hard to express these thoughts, it won't always be.

and this is Christie's

Your Brain's Pattern

Your mind is a firestorm - full of intensity and drama. Your thoughts may seem scattered to you most of the time... But they often seem strong and passionate to those around you. You are a natural influencer. The thoughts you share are very powerful and persuading.

She mostly thinks of Eric and many ways to kill Andrew.
and her past life....

In a Past Life...

You Were: A Happy Go Lucky Beekeeper. Where You Lived: Burma. How You Died: Buried alive.

Here's me!

In a Past Life...

You Were: An Obese Sailor. Where You Lived: Texas. How You Died: Hung for treason.

And Andrew was:

In a Past Life...

You Were: A Redhead Fortune Teller. Where You Lived: Egypt. How You Died: In Childbirth.

Apparenlty you were a female.

6:22pm: A Dilemma
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( See eirian_barddas's results. )

12:04pm: The Incredibles were really Incredible!
So my family and I really had a lot of fun at the Incredibles on Ice. Little kids EVERYWHERE! They were selling snow cones in cup that were the Icredibles heads. To have the top of their heads open and people eating snow cone right out of it was funny to me, I just had to get one. I got Dash.
They also had cotton candy in which you get hair from either Dash or Syndrome so I got one of those too. Syndrome has better hair so I picked him. Ohh and don't forget the cool free wrist band I got when I walked in. It has two buttons that flash a red light. Oooo... It made my arm itch.
All in all it was an ok show. I saved Mickey and Minnie and the little kids behind be saw Cinderella which they really seemed to love since they were crawling almost over my seat, arms out-stretched and yelling "CINDERWELLA!!"

7:33pm: Ohh yay Dr. appt.
So I left around 1:10 to go to my Doctor appt. Well what happens?! RAIN all over the place and not just any rain, pouring rain. So I start to leave and the Teacher says to go another way or I'll get soaked. Then Rebecca goes "And besides Chelsea, you're wearing a white T-shirt!" Well chaa, anyone can see white! So I'm like "AND?? I where a bra!" So I leave and have to go through building 4 and in 2 min the parking lot is flooded. GREAT so I make a run for it and can't find my car...so I stop running, besides I was soaked in the 1 second it took mt to actually get pass senior row. So I find my car and I'm drenched. I have to rush home and change and forget to change my bra. I put on my sirt and head out. When I enter the office I notice that my front it soaked now from my wet bra. UGH! Not the least humilliating. Then the doctor took forever and it was cold in the room. I froze so badly.

3:05pm: So I caught the dreaded cold that's been going around. I hate being sick. My head feels so stuffy that my ears hurt.
I got to stay home today which was kinda nice. Sleep, sleep, and more sleep. I'm feeling a lot better now so I guess I'll be back at school tomorrow. ..yay
Saturday night I called Steven to tell him I couldn't go listen to them play cause I was sick, well around 8:30 there's a knock at my door (granted I wasn't dressed so I ran into my room). So my dad comes in and says it's Steven. I get dressed and walk out there and he and Wade are standing there. Steven hands me a rose and says "I hope you feel better", quite sweet. I wish I could smell the rose.

5:09pm: LAYOUT PROGRESSION!
SO my new layout of Journey loveliness is finally complete, thanks to "blacklisted" Andrew. :) Very nice, very nice! Muy Bien!
I LOVE Journey! Andrew made good use of my pictures. Also there's Ymdaith behind the entry. I had to let ya'll know.

Steven plays a mean guitar and sings pretty well. Brian Ryner is so cute with Courtney. Even though Courtney is really evil underneath it all. Though I love her still.

JR can go fudge a monkey and a goat for all I care. Eric is bad also so I'll put him in the same paragraph! BAD ERIC!

3:45pm: I love Cillian Murphy
So we (Christie and me) went to see Red Eye last night with her friend Ashley and Toya's sister. Then Nicole and Jimmy showed up out of nowhere in the parking lot. Nicole didn't even seem like she was happy to see us. So whatever. We got in line behind them and then Jillian and Tommy appear. They were there to see the movie with Nicole and Jimmy. I tried to strike up a conversation with Nicole but I got a one word answer. It really seemed like she wanted to know how we were also by her silence...wow thanks. So that really pissed Christie and I off because we've known her since we were babies. We grew up together and practically the only time she wants to talk is to complain about Jimmy to us. So fuck that. She doesn't take our advise and so you take what you get She puts up with his shit so he's gonna act like a total ass. It's common sense!
Well at least the movie was tremendously good. He wasn't cliche and in the shower so that made me happy.
Going to see 40 Year Old Virgin tonight with everybody. Except Allison and Andrew because they wanted to go earlier! I think it looks hilarious and I could use a great stupid laugh. I need to call Jessie and Sanket for Christie so expect a phone call.

10:18pm: dance the night away, professor snape
My dancing Snape is better than your dancing Snape.

7:39pm: Ramble Ramble...
All my classes rock. I'm a student aid for Mrs. Carr, who really likes me, or maybe she just really needed someone to grade papers, but we'll go with the first one. My math class... I swear we must be idiots cause all the stuff is SO graw.. EASY! Jimmy and Joseph sit by me so it makes it entertaining. Then there's Mrs Shubele(sp?) who is crazy in a way I want to bottle her up and put her on display. She so funny, well sometimes. Then there's Grinstead, oh Mrs Grinstead, she is the best.

I'm eating so healthy at lunch. I've noticed that I feel better and my clothes fit nicely and I just pretty much think I'm the shizznit. ...I look good this year. I don't care if you others don't think so, this is MY big headed ego paragraph and well Isaidso!

*Wish Andrew would give me my AAR cd... and maybe a candied apple... and maybe some whoopass at video games... annd anndd :)
"Ants Ants Everywhere, on my legs and in my HAIR! Ants Ants bitting me and I don't even seem to SEE!"

You may not send a Nudge that often.

Got to go do homework while listening to HH and making sweet sweet munching noises to Munchies Kids Mix that only Publix seems to have.

I shouldn't have soda or ice cream. Christie says it makes me hyper. I fought her bother today and it was fun. A little sexual phrases added in made it hillarious. We went to go see Eric in a Speedo and as we were about to turn onto Cypress Blvd... he was leaving. HAHAHA Christie was all upset. I was just happy eating my McFlurry (which isn't healthy)

5:58pm: Ooops
So I completely jinxed myself. I was going to be all nice and give Patrick his movies back like a good ex instead of keeping them. So on the way to get Christie's schedule at the Cobb I thought we'd stop by and drop them off. Andrew hadn't seen him and so they both came in with me. Then we went to the Cobb and The Big Chill. Which didn't have Christie's schedule...rude people. So while driving I said "Wouldn't it be funny if I left one of Patrick's DVDs in the player?" I dropped Christie off and Andrew drove back home. I went into my room and checked my DVD player just to be sure and there it was.. Equilibrium, his favorite movie out the stack. *sigh* I'll just have to go down tomorrow and give it to him. *double sigh* hahaha it is kinda funny though.

*Underground like a wild potato!

11:48am: Patrick broke up with me last night. He thought it'd be better for the both ofus if we just went our seperate ways for now. He kept saying how he felt like he was a bad boyfriend for not being there and not getting in touch with me as often. I knew he was a busy person adn I knew he was struggling with his own drama.

*I don't feel bad since it feels like every other day.

School starts TOMORROW! I can't believe it. I must get to bed early, early so I can be all bright-eyed and not dragging my shoes. I don't think it'll be my new sexy flip flops though. Sadly enough I broke my big toe nail. ::Sigh:: That poor toe... I hit it on so much stuff. I'll wear my flip flops though! Cause they're super cute and my toe won't have to feel the revenge of a sock. ouch.
I'm truly going to love this year. All my classes are either mucho fun or simple enough. Also having no job to get in the way I'll finally have plenty of time for my school work. YES! Che;se is hunkering down and making the best of it this year!

*A's all the way...hopefully

12:51am: Schooltacular but with a hit of Chelsea rhythm
I'm pimpin' out my backpack. Got some pins at Hot Topic because they're the only place I could find some. Most I found were from bands, Napoleon Dynomite, and weird emo phrases. Christie helped find some really good ones though. Now I'm adding a few stitches to make the straps look more colorful and not overly pinned. Saturday my parents decided they wanted to go to the International plaza in Tampa, so of course we shopped. Well in Forever XXI I saw a key chain robot like the one at Wal*Mart. The only difference was it was pink and bulky and mines skinnier and metallic silver but it cost $5 and mine only cost me $1. Sheesh I sure was proud of my savings. Mines way cuter too so HA!

I feel so crafty

*I Love Life! Honey Graham style with milk.

11:18pm: Stylin'
Yup I got my hair did. I'm quite shocked that it turned out so good. I love it. Short, like always now, but definatly cute.
Went and hit balls today at the driving range, and might I add I rocked! I lost at the chameenship with my dad but that's ok.
Last day of work! YES! No more smoothies to make or cleaning up the messes. No more discount either... but that's ok I'm burnt out of smoothies for the next 20 years.

*My hair smells like watermelon. Mmm

10:37am: We stick out like a white brick....
So had the ol' gang over last night. We basically made Sims of ourselves. I fell in love with Nicole, Nicole can't fix a shower nor does she like Christie, Christie liked Jonathan Turnyck.. Nicole and I didn't, I ate rotting food, we had no shower so sponge bathes galore, Christie and Nicole were Military Recruits and I was a Policewoman. I wonder how you use the cheat codes.. I want more money to make a pretty house and Nicole needed her whore bed with lepoard print.
Ohh well. Finding the leopard was funny enough. Even though he is set free and apparently dead right after. The chinese woman didn't seem to mind though. JACK!

4:02pm: Yay new computer! I can play The Sims 2. Whoop! Ohh and who has the Charlie and the Chocolate Factory Soundtrack? Ohh yea, I went there, and it was dandy. All the best songs with the Oopma Loopas are the first 5. My dad was actually enjoying it on the car ride home. I saw a head bob here and there.

1:09pm: My backpack is pipkin!
Waiting for my dad to get home from the doctors so we can go computer shopping for me. He asked if I wanted a lap top and I was like "Hell yea!" So he said he'd pay half...sweet deal. Works out nicely.
Well my car is getting fixed... so I'm carless. ::sigh::
After bowling JR, V Man, and I went for frostys. Well they were out of spoons and they weren't sippable. So we had fish faces for awhile. Vernon getting in the front seat after JR got out was hillarious, mind you I wouldn't attempt it. I don't want shoes on my seats. He hit the window because I was laughing so hard my foot came off the break. HAHAHAHA! BAM! Vernon: "I meant to do that..." Flippin' hillarious. He did annoy me though when an awesome song came up and he went "Sorry but this song sounds like it sucks" Well excuse me!

* MUAH HA HA HA HA

8:51am: Mrs. Cameron...
So Mrs. White was having an open house yesturday while I was working. My mom and dad went over and they told me that she was saying how since all my other grades leading up to Mrs. Cameron were extremely high that I could go up to the school and get the D's taken off my record. How sweet is that?! She said since I had a problem with her and they put me back in and I didn't do any better that it's no problem. HECK YES! Take that Mrs. Cameron! Mrs. White agreed with me that Mrs. Cameron wasn't one to answer questions and take a lot of time to help students.

*GPA up, up, and away!